Archive for the ‘Jungle Juice’ Category

Let’s Talk Turkey


I did my usual southern trip to Virginia for Thanksgiving recently and hit all the major tour stops: my grandmother’s house in Harrisonburg, my brother’s house in Arlington, Mom’s house in Woodbridge, and both Cassie’s parent’s house and Dad’s house in Clifton. Yep, as usual, it was a whirlwind but I had a lot of fun.

Right after work Wednesday (the 24th) I grabbed a MegaBus for DC. Yes, I’ve commented in the past about my woes with this infernal franchise, but all of the Bolt buses (my preferred means of travelling between states) were booked and I wasn’t about to pay $200 for an overcrowded train ride. Luckily, we didn’t crash into any bridges and I made it to downtown DC in pretty decent time.

El Stevedore did his usual bang up job of picking me up and we crashed at his place. Then it was a crack-of-dawn drive to H-burg where we met up with all of the Mills. We played a lot of tv show trivia games (Seinfeld, Full House and Saved by the Bell) and I ate a ton of stuffing and then I drove mom’s car back to her place (where I fed Mila and then promptly fell asleep! What a cool Thursday night!!!!!).

Maybe it was for the best as Friday was designated TJHSST reunion night! I had gone to my tenth year reunion last year and this year was Cassie’s so a lot of the pressure was off me (I admit to a last-minute 3-mile run before heading out last year), but I still recognized many faces and found myself in awkward conversation. Unfortunately, the class of 2000 had a strange and contested history of getting this bash together and, with such little planning, had only managed to book the event for 3 hours. So, at the strike of … 11pm (!?!?!) the place closed and everyone was pushed out into the cold Clarendon streets.

Of course, the drunk Colonials demanded more reunions so Cassie and I shuttled between several bars (in freezing weather, may I remind you!!!) to continue drinking and socializing. It was a fun night out, but I definitely broke my no-cold status of 2010 (that’s right, I went almost 11 full months without a cold).

Saturday was reserved for the Man Cave – where Steve(r) and I tried out Dad’s new PS3 move. I have to admit I liked it a lot better than his old Wii, even if it does reek of “late to the party.” But, it’s just another display of how Sony makes video games and Nintendo is in the toy business. Anyway, after a couple hours of revelry we went to his local haunt, the Bonefish Grill with Cassie and Karen in tow. Then Steve, Cassie and I headed back out to Clarendon where we grabbed a whole bunch of friends (the Cretzes, the Joneses, Michelle and Richard Killiam 🙂 ) and had an awesome night. Yes, even though Richard spilled his beer into my chair!

My final day in Virginia was spent shopping with Mom and making the obligatory pilgrimage to the Olive Garden. Then, one final sleepless night with Ripley later, I headed back to New York. I was exhausted, but glad to be back in the Big Apple.

    Site Updates:

  • Took down The Delancey gig from Rusted Hero sidebar section
  • Took down Crash Mansion gig from Rusted Hero sidebar section
  • Removed The Dave Matthews Band – Remember Two Things (1993) from Currently Enjoying
  • Removed Mogwai – Happy Music for Happy People (2003) from Currently Enjoying
  • Removed Vintage NBA Basketball: The Pioneer Era (1946-56) (1996) from Currently Enjoying
  • Added Elton John and Leon Russell – The Union (2010) to Currently Enjoying
  • Added Antony and the Johnsons – I Am a Bird Now (2005) to Currently Enjoying
  • Took down L.I.C. Bar gig from Rusted Hero sidebar section
  • Added Celebrity Rehab: Season 4 (2010) to Currently Enjoying

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Bringing Things Up To Date

Drunks in front of a car

© 2010 Andrew R.

I’m forcing this one out. Beware.

I’ve been so busy that I have been physically unable to work on any new posts for some time now. I hate having to admit that almost as much as I dislike living it, but that’s the truth. I’ve got some really exciting band news to blab about so, unfortunately, I’m going to have to condense the last whirlwind of a month into an underwhelming blog-list. Here we go!

  • Jungle Juicerz Atlantic City Bachelor Party
    Pictured above! For the weekend of July 9-11, I was in the beautiful twin cities of New Jersey: Pleasant Point Beach and Atlantic City. The reason was simple: celebrate Jeff’s final days as a single, gay man. Ok, so there were still 8 weeks left before his wedding. And, ok, so he’s not really gay. But we did have to celebrate! 7 other of Jeff’s closest friends all showed up and we had a blast drinking, dancing, playing football, hot tubbing, and drinking a little bit more. We ripped up the kiddie pool at our White Sands Oceanfront Resort & Spa hotel, drove in style via limo, ate at the fancy Buddakan restaurant in Atlantic City, and crashed the MIXX club in the Borgata. And, even though I left with way more scars (both physical and emotional) than I had going in, I had a great time.

  • Staycation
    I hadn’t taken any vacation up through June so I decided to take a week off in the middle of July and do … absolutely nothing! I just slept in, played video games, worked on a whole bunch of projects, and played music all day for a week. This was right around the time I made my last real post on this site. No coincidence that this was right around the time my life went into hyperdrive.

  • Upper East Side Bed n’ Breakfast
    In the month of July we actually had 3 guests stay at our place! First, Janelle came up while I was in Atlantic City. This was probably for the best for all involved as it sounds like it was a very girly weekend. Then Jeff and Megan crashed here to attend a JMU Alumni booze cruise. That was a lot of fun (open bar!) and we also did a few typical touristy things that were actually enjoyable. Then we did the whole thing again the next week when Cassie’s parents and sister, Tori, crammed into our small place. Needless to say, Tito (not the friendliest cat to guests) was a hit (literally) with all of our visitors.

  • Celebrating One Year of Terror
    And speaking of that bean, happy 1st birthday to Gatito (Jun 17)!

  • Hot New Sound
    Based on talks with the Tone Jedi I met a while back and some research I bought a tube amp head – a Marsh 25/50. Unfortunately, even though I’ve had the amp for a month I have yet to actually play the damn thing!

  • Pap
    I lost another family member a couple of weeks ago. My grandfather on my mom’s side passed away rather suddenly and, although it came as a bit of a shock when it happened, it unfortunately wasn’t altogether too big of a surprise. It was an emotional and hectic two days as I was on the road for 14 hours just to get to Harrisonburg, VA and back but I was glad to participate. It was my first time being a pallbearer and, to be honest, it actually was a bit therapeutic as it satisfied my natural thoughts of “wanting to do something.” Steve wrote an excellent write up of the event on his site, and I’m afraid I probably won’t be able to get to doing one here. We’ll see, though for now, I’ll move on.

After that I had my wild two weeks at work where I sunk in 65+ hours one and 50 the other. It wasn’t cool. Luckily, things started to take an upswing as Rusted Hero (my band!) ran into the recording studio over the weekend and will be playing our first gig tonight! But those will have to wait for other blogs (that I promise to get to)!

    Site Updates:

  • Removed Superman in the Sixties (1999) from Currently Enjoying
  • Removed Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch (2010) from Currently Enjoying
  • Removed Lionel Richie – Can’t Slow Down (1983) from Currently Enjoying
  • Removed The Streets – Original Pirate Material (2002) from Currently Enjoying
  • Removed Ryan G. Van Cleave – Unplugged: My Journey into the Dark World of Video Game Addiction (2010) from Currently Enjoying
  • Removed The Civil War (1990) from Currently Enjoying
  • Added Freakonomics (2005) to Currently Enjoying
  • Added Jay-Z – In My Lifetime, Vol. 1 (1997) to Currently Enjoying
  • Added The Go! Team – Thunder, Lightning, Strike (2004) to Currently Enjoying
  • Added The New Batman Adventures: Season 1 (1997) to Currently Enjoying
  • Added Superman in the Eighties (2006) to Currently Enjoying

Current Mood: Accomplished emoticon Accomplished

Fuck 2009 [Part 2]

Kenny Kramer and a bunch of Seinfeld, Seinsmelled contributors

Photo @ 2010 Brandon Jones

Ugh … I’m really hating this layout. I’m working on a completely homemade, new one. It’ll be pretty sparse so hopefully I can get it implemented soon because this piece of crap is actually making me want to blog less. UPDATE (TO MYSELF: I’ve already changed it.

Anyway, to continue where I left off, it was January 1st. I was in a fitful sleep when I was suddenly awoken out of a serious, New Years Eve/Jeff C[removed]-induced hangover by my phone. Picking it up revealed that my brother, Captain of the U.S.S. SteverOnline, was on the other end! It turns out that he had just been denied access to his Bolt Bus transportation into the city because he “looked like someone who had assaulted a lady on a previous bus.” I’m sure everyone can see the joke coming as Steve is my identical twin.

Well, he asked if I had ever done such a deed. Normally, I might have been a little pissed that he’d even consider this reprehensible behavior to actually have been perpetrated by me – except I had just survived the wildest/stupidest two weeks of drinking since perhaps my last college spring break. So, when he asked if I had anything to do with it I, too, paused for about half a minute to make sure. Luckily, my brain kicked my ass with the realization that 1) I would never do such a thing 2) I would never drink on a 4-hour bus trip (think of the sickness!!) and 3) I’d never had a female bus driver from this company (it was a woman driver who was banning Stever from boarding). The situation totally sucked balls, but Stever and his lady in wait, Brandon, snuck aboard the next bus half an hour later and managed to get into the city without further incident.

They arrived at my doorstep around 7 in the PM and were instantly introduced to the dainty, little princess that is Gatito. She ran into a corner and started growling and hissing and generally annoying everyone. Finally she ran into the bedroom where she remained for the rest of the weekend (except for the celebrated bathroom standoff the next morning). This was her first weekend with people and I’m actually happy to say she’s gotten 100% better. We had people over the next two weekends in a row and she came out and interacted with everyone. Maybe she just has a thing against the Stever-Brandon tag team.

Speaking of which, I also realized that Stever must have been mistaken for someone completely different than either of us as he was sporting a 2-week old beard! Anyway, after spending way too long deciding on where to eat (apparently one of my lesser enjoyed habits), we decided on Doc Watson’s bar/restaurant. It was … ok. It was really cramped inside and the atmosphere was “bring your older relatives for a zany time!” Then we went home and watched 4 Dexters in a row … wow, what an addicting, great show.

We got up butt-early the next day and trekked through the insane winds over to the Producer’s Club Theater, located just outside of Times Square. We walked up a flight of stairs into a small bar, randomly decorated with classic album covers, and found just five people ahead of us waiting for the tour. As the room began to fill with more and more tourists, suddenly there was an electricity felt … a presence! That’s when J.M. C[removed], himself, entered the room! With tiny, purple JMU gloves on! Stever rejoiced.

The room finally filled up to about 40 people and we were ushered into another, small room – this one vaguely resembling the one in the opening, stand up scenes in Seinfeld. The man who had led us there said a few, terrible, warm up jokes and I suddenly became frightened that we weren’t going to see Kenny Kramer at all. But, just as his counterpart Jeff C[removed] had, the real Kramer lit up the room upon entry! He told a few jokes, reminisced about his friendship with Larry David and the inception of the show, and then we were on our way!

… to his store! I bought a George Costanza shirt and got Kramer to sign it and we all got a picture with the man, himself. Then we boarded the bus (we were in the absolute last two rows) and proceeded to be shown a bunch of places that were no longer in existence. Yes, Kramer has been doing this tour for 14 years and the average turnover in New York City is about 3, so everything has changed except for a handful of places. Still, the stories he told were great and I loved the experience of “living” the show. We stopped outside of Tom’s Restaurant and all got pictures with Kramer (including one, giant one featuring everyone on the tour) and then arrived back at the Producer’s Club. Kramer even gave Brandon and I free tickets to a comedy club that we ended up using the next night.

Stever’s bus was leaving soon after we got back, and Jeff was eager to head out as well, but none of us wanted the good times to end so we ate at … Chevy’s right in Time’s Square. Whatever, New Yorkers. I care not about where I eat, even if it’s a tourist trap franchise establishment!

To close, if you’re as big a Seinfeld fan as I am and you’re in the New York area I’d highly recommend you going to see the Kramer Tour. It’s not going to be the greatest show on earth, but it’s a great look behind the Hollywood curtain at some of the background of the beginnings of this superior TV series. But it’s not something like the Brooklyn Bridge or Times Square where you can continue to take visitors to … once is enough.

Current Mood: Starting To Feel Sick emoticon Starting To Feel Sick

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  • Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 at 14:09 | #1

    Testing that comments work 🙁

Fuck 2009 [Part 1]

Finally getting some on New Year's Eve

Photo @ 2010 Jeff C[removed]

Good weekend!

Thursday night was the last night of 2009. A year that, save the acquisition of one Gatito, was one of the crappiest I’ve ever experienced. Sure, I had a lot of fun, started up my most serious attempt at a band, and got a dream apartment in New York City, but I never quite shook free of that thin layer of dread. Work was crazy: besides having to go through the uncertainty of the recession (we did let people go), I also suddenly found myself in charge of this giant project that was way out of my skill set. But, 2010 brings hope and a lot of opportunity! I’m finally feeling like I’m on top of things at work, the apartment is still awesome, I feel as though I’ve found some really good war buddies in my bandmates, and we’ve gone poo-free in the tub all year (thanks so far, Tito)!

Enough of my emotional purging! Here are the goods you wanted: Jeff C[removed] and his girlfriend, Megan, came up to New York for New Year’s Eve. They were staying with Jeff’s old friend, Naveen (who I’ve had the pleasure of Spring Break-ing with twice) but we all met up at Papillion to start off the celebrations. The place was a giant, French/beer restaurant (though strangely occupied by Italian opera karaoke upstairs) but I was impressed with neither the food nor the beer selection. The best line was as I first sat down, Jeff C[removed] ordered me to drink the beer in front of me saying “we’re all drinking their finest, 1664!” Amazingly, he wasn’t being faceitious so I had to burst his bubble and tell him it’s essentially the French Budweiser (thanks to my storied two weeks in France with Detective Richard Kimble). I know this paragraph sounds like I’m a food snob. I’m not. I’m a beer snob! With very little information. It’s makes for one terribly confused cocktail.

We finished up and went to Pravda – a Russian warehouse themed bar in the Lower East Side – which was a great idea of Naveen’s since Papillion was dying. Thanks to some quick cab wrangling, we arrived with just minutes to spare before the big countdown. Jeff C[removed] bought a bottle of champagne and poured us all a glass (a mistake, as he continued to remind me that I “owed him for the alcohol” for the rest of the night). Everyone was drunk, wearing New Year’s pointed hats or 2010 glasses, and the bartender jumped on the bar with a giant, cheerleader megaphone for the countdown (I filmed it with my iPhone but who knows how well it came out). It was my first time spending New Year’s Eve in a cool bar and it’s gotta rank up there as the best ways to welcome in a new year. Jeff’s three single buddies (Naveen and two other guys who we had dined with) tried to pick up some girls while Jeff, himself, decided to hump balloons and party hats. Did I mention he was out of his mind drunk? Oh, and there were several ladies who I practically violated just by looking at them since their skirts (more like long belts) were so short. All of this (ok, mainly him being ignored by the ladies they were hitting on) led to Naveen finally declaring we would move onto another bar.

The second bar was super small, super cramped and not as inviting an atmosphere as Pravda. Plus, you had to pay $3 a jacket for them to hold it for you. I snuck my second jacket in my larger one’s arm and no one was the wiser, though! We were there for quite a while but I started to get a little drunk. I danced a little, drank a little, talked a little, and remember even less. Cassie and I didn’t make it home until 5 AM … where I made the terrible decision to watch a 3 hour-long Mavericks basketball game that I recorded.

But that’s just the beginning, reader! As I lay my head down to sleep at 7 AM little did I realize what was in store for me: Syckes meets Syckes; Kramer meets Kramer; a deadly, cornered wild beast rears her fearsome head; a showdown with a serial killer commences; and my violent past finally catches up with me! Stay tuned!

Oh, and check out the Best/Worst of 2009 feature I’ve started! Enjoy and Happy Goddamn 2010!

Site Updates

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Beer, Shame and Breasts: My Christmas Vacation

Photo © 2006 Cassie Melnikow

Just like my Thanksgiving wrapup a few weeks ago, I find myself in the terrible position of having a lot to say but not wanting to write any of it down here. The inspiration well is just totally dry at the moment. But, I’ve been blogging for so long that I know it will be back sooner or later … I just have to force myself to continue onward instead!

The Killiam OrnamentThe Killiam Update
Richard – of Hibernation Sickness infamy – graced the United States with his presence this Christmas holiday and I was lucky enough to host the French gentleman for a couple of nights. Although he touched down on Monday the 15th he was super busy running around and meeting up with family that I didn’t see his beautiful face until Friday the 19th. UPDATE: We tore it up at a few places in Yorkshire including a comedy club (where we saw a comedian throw a guy out during his act), a bar where the cops came in demanding to know where a patron’s jacket was, and another bar where we saw a huge fight that consisted of basically everyone in the bar except us three. It was actually nice for once to not be involved in any of the Yorkshire bar scuffles! Though I did end up puking that night 🙁

The Netflix OrnamentDoing My Best Impression Of The 2004-Post College Me
We all took buses down to Virginia and even though I had to wait 45 minutes in the freezing wind to board it the Boltbus was worth every penny of it’s $25 cost! I got the absolute furthest seat back and slept for the entire 4-hour trip. When I had finally unpacked and settled into my mom’s home again I suddenly became the laziest motherfucker of all time. Basically, I reverted back to the 2004 version of me. Though I had packed my PS3, a whole list of creative pursuits a week off would do wonders for, and a phonebook full of old friends in the area, all I had the energy to do was go through my Netflix instant queue and my mom’s DVD collection and watch movie after movie. I guess I was a little more burned out from work than I had thought and needed to just veg. Anyway, for you stanus.nut completists, here’s the movie schedule:

The Fantasy Football OrnamentX-Mas Results (Subtitle: I Hate Brandon Jones’ Blind Batshit Luck)
In between all of this movie watching I slipped in some Xmas time with the ‘rents. Steve and I woke up Christmas day and opened gifts at my mom’s place first. The big gift was my college diploma frame … which I had unknowingly discovered a month previous! I’m not sure why my mom felt the need to still wrap it but it will look great on my wall besides my somewhat less classy giant Mavericks flag.

Then it was off to the Z-News headquarters for Xmas Round 2! There we exchanged gifts and met the new member of the clan: a huge, mean-looking but super-friendly pit bull named Amos who my stepbrother and his wife adopted recently. I was advised not to attempt to pet him or even look him in the eye until he got used to my presence! After we all became friends, we passed around gifts and found out that between three of us we had received four copies of the new John Lennon biography. Herr Z-News had the whole day off (he’s been quite busy recently) and after gift-giving we witnessed his emotional return to the virtual links of Tiger Woods: Ass-Play for the Wii. We laughed at this sad hobby of his and then headed back for Xmas dinner at mom’s.

… where I discovered that Brandon had won both of the fantasy football leagues we were in together 🙁 Sure, I came in last place in one of the leagues. Sure, I was in first place for the vast majority of the season in the other. Yes, Brandon missed one of the drafts completely and had to rely on Yahoo’s autodraft feature. But none of these were what stung the most. Nay, the shame was heaped upon me as I realized I made a fucking [] banner about my previous fantasy football wins in the last two years. Ah, stats curse!

The Janelle OrnamentA Jan-Yell Afternoon
I had been such a bum all week that my body became accustomed to my behavior in just a few short days. In fact, Cassie had to convince me to go out and meet up with several of our high school friends in Arlington for lunch and drinks. Even though it was Janelle’s birthday celebration and would mean I know everyone there, I grumbled and had to force myself out of bed to show up on time (fun, not-so-surprising note: I was half an hour late). However, as soon as I arrived I wondered what made me think this wouldn’t be a fun time in the first place. It was cool to see old friends who now all lived multiple states away from me and exercise slightly more control over drinking with them! After a quick lunch, we all decided to stay and drink a couple of rounds and shoot the shit for a couple of hours.

The Jungle Bean OrnamentA Quiet Evening Out With Jeff C[removed] and Kachold
… but the drinking didn’t stop there! And the Jeff C[removed] was just starting! I had stopped by Jeff’s new Arlington pad for a total of five minutes at one point during Janelle’s lunch. Thinking I had to drive back to return a rental car I hurried out of there, but when I decided upon an alternate plan Cassie and I stopped back at Chez Jeff C[removed] after Janelle’s party moved to the hotel lobby.

After catching up with each other’s adventures who but old college pal (It’s) Rich (Bitch) showed up. He and Jeff were heading out to DC to see some rockabilly/burlesque show and I got talked into checking it out as well. UPDATE: Rich knew one of the dancers and demanded we go there to check her out. To tell you the truth, it was a hilarious night. For example, Rich got so trashed he was thrown out of the bar before he even walked into it. UPDATE: The rockabilly band was forgettable, but it was a strange site seeing 3 guys who looked like the Stray Cats in the middle of ghetto DC. The burlesque dancers were slightly better: Rich’s friend was attractive but the other dancer was HUGE! Unfortunately, their strip teases just seemed so out of place. I dunno. I really was more interested in discussing Jeff C[removed]‘s mole’s return than watching them strip. Unfortunately, I’m just not up to telling anymore of the night’s story right now. I do have a whole bunch of pictures from the night, however. Maybe I can put together a quick photo essay or something. Or not. Actually, bet on the “or not.”

All right, I hope everyone else had a great vacation, too. L8r!

Current Mood: Drained emoticon Drained

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  • Cassie
    Monday, January 12th, 2009 at 00:45 | #1

    Yorkshire, home to such notable people as Emily Bronte and Dame Judi Dench! That is where we live!

  • Monday, January 12th, 2009 at 10:37 | #2

    Yorkshire … Yorkville. Same thing, right?

Jeff C[removed] Wins the Super Bowl

Wow … I just watched the greatest Super Bowl I’ve ever seen in my life (which really isn’t saying much since I’ve not been a football fan at all for most of my life).

Cassie’s favorite team is the Indianapolis Colts and likes them almost as much as I like the Dallas Mavericks … scary, eh? So, because I don’t like any other team really, I throw in my support to the Colts by default (though this lack of passion and knowledge of the sport doesn’t stop me from winning in fantasy football). The Colts have a hated rival – the New England Patriots – who was having one of the best seasons in the history of the NFL this year. So, when the Patriots made it to the Super Bowl, and the Colts didn’t, my allegiance (what little existed) was shifted towards their opponent. The fact that the other Super Bowl team was a New York team just made it that much sweeter.

The Patriots stormed into the championship game with a perfect record while the Giants had to stumble and claw their way in as the second-to-last seed. Somehow, they kept the best offense in history from scoring more than 14 points while Patriots quarterback and model-fucker, Tom Brady, just looked confused the whole game. And yet, as well as the Giants played, foul-smelling New England had the upper-hand with 2:30 left to go … but Giants quarterback, Eli Manning, channeled his brother (Colts quarterback, Peyton Manning) and drove down the field for an unfathomable, winning touchdown!

The small party at my house erupted. None of us were big football fans (with the exception of Cassandra!) but we all live and work in New York. And to see a teary, joyous Jeff C[removed] run down from the stands and catch the winning touchdown pass made it all that much more special.

PS. Go fuck yourself, Jeff C[removed]. The Mavs are winning this year.

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Death of a Blogger

Has blogging died? And, if the general answer is no, has it died in my blogging community? My biggest contemporaries, The B-Log (Brandon Jones) and Steveronline (Steve Syckes), haven’t updated in over a month and have been on barely-once-a-month schedules for some time. Nate’s Noodle (Nate Crandell) and the Dohblog (Anthony Stets) are popping in every couple of months to say how long it’s been since they last said hello. Hibernation Sickness (Richard Killiam) was left to die at the turn of the year, and The USAF Experience (Jeff C[removed]) and the truth..altered (Allison Xanthopoulos) were officially deleted.

Worst of all, I have so little energy myself to get through a post these days. What’s up? Are people too busy, too lazy, or just not living as interesting lives as they used to? I bet everyone says “too busy” but I bet it’s really one of the other two. As for my excuse, it’s something completely different.

I began a blog about the weekend of August 31 – September 3, my trip to Las Vegas for Brandon’s bachelor party. We gambled a lot, ate good food, embarrassed Brandon at a strip club, and checked out the Team USA basketball game. I even ran into Britney Spears. Needless to say, there were a lot of stories and the post was running super long with no end in sight. And when I realized this I was suddenly sapped of all my willpower. I couldn’t continue.

It just wasn’t exciting me. I enjoy writing about experiences of mine, but I hate feeling like I have to write about something. More and more, I’ll write down the title to a blog in my planner (yes, I have a daily planner!) and suddenly it becomes just another chore to check off my list. That just feels like high school work to me and I left that anxiety 8 years ago. But, just to document, here goes:

I would like to say I had a good time in Vegas … though I found out pretty quickly I have an extremely low tolerance for gambling. I can survive a total of 12 hours I’d say. Split that into increments and dash them across a week and I’m good but with Brandon “Pokerjobber” Jones, it’s non-stop and I started to feel it just after the first full day. The Team USA basketball was amazing (of course). It was like watching an All-Star game. Hmm … now I guess I have to go see one of those, too.

Maybe I’ll flesh this whole thing out in 2010 as part of my Three Years Later feature. Well, that is if I’m still doing it (meta-blogging can be pretty taxing though fulfilling) by then. And speaking of 3LY, if you haven’t read any of them so far, give it a peep. Some of this stuff’s pretty cool.

Random Thoughts

  • I was forced to watch Britney Spears’ VMA performance last night. It was so bored I was actually glad about being required to view against my will.
  • A new stanus.butt layout is in the works. It’s pretty easy in wordpress: just find a skin and edit a little bit. Voila.
  • People, if you aren’t reading Project NBA Sim, what are you reading?
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  • Zepmoon
    Tuesday, September 11th, 2007 at 08:10 | #1

    You introduced me to blogging so I don’t pretend to have any expertise but maybe less is more, that is, don’t try to write detailed accounts for each post. Just give us the highlights. One or two lines can keep everyone up-to-date and satisfy your urge to communicate.

  • Tuesday, September 11th, 2007 at 09:50 | #2

    That’s actually a good idea. Let’s see if the perfectionist in me will let it slide …

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scarlet speedster

This past weekend I was the Flash. I took a Washington Deluxe bus down to Virginia, and every single second of the trip was accounted for by one obligation or another. Although I compare myself to the fastest comic book character alive in this blog, I was actually beaten to the entire scoop by Steveronline (9/18/06 entry). Since he detailed every event extremely well, I won’t be redundant here.

It seems to be wedding season and, as such, one of the events I attended was my step-brother, Ric’s wedding to his girlfriend, Rachel. I wish them good luck on their lives together, but now slowly turn my attention to the next wedding up to bat: Allison Reip and Greg X! I won’t reveal too much about this one, as a blog about it afterwards will probably make a great Stanus entry!

The New York apartment hunt returns in full force today. I have already set up one viewing for tomorrow in Brooklyn, and am in contact with another possibility for later in the week. Though neither of these are definite things, I’m just glad I’m receiving responses back from people as last week was so dry I thought something was wrong with my email system!

Last, but not least, I have added a new banner – one that was recommended by Jeff C[removed]. This new one stars the cast from the 2002-03 hit reality drama: 736 I Sunchase!



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  • Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 at 19:38 | #1

    UPDATE: I have pre-ordered NBA 2k7, guaranteeing me a copy on 9/25! This means big things in the NBA Sim department. I hope you are as excited as I am!

  • Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 at 19:38 | #2

    Shouldn’t the comment below appear on The Mighty Mavericks?

  • Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 at 19:39 | #3

    EDIT: *comment above*


  • Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 at 19:39 | #4

    Negative! The Mighty Mavs will be a blog about current basketball and Mavs-related information. NBA Sim falls into neither category!

  • Zepmoon
    Wednesday, September 20th, 2006 at 19:39 | #5

    Thank you so much for all the support last weekend. I know it was an ordeal but one you will never regret being part of. Best of luck in the apartment hunt!

Moleless in Georgetown

1st Lt. [removed], of the United States Air Force, paid Washington, D.C. a visit this weekend for the annual Memorial Day parade. Luckily, the officer and gentlemen found some time in his busy schedule to call me 8 times … I mean hang out with me Saturday night.

Saturday morning, however, was spent on an extended, educational day in D.C. visiting the Holocaust and International Spy Museums. The sites for both infamously brag that visitors can experience the permanent exhibitions in “about 2 hours.” My real life participation rebuttal: 4 hours after having entered the Holocaust museum we hadn’t seen everything. We were actually escorted out of the Spy museum after seeing only 75% of the exhibit when the building closed for the night. This was 3 hours after our admission. Fun!

Even worse, the highly advertised “Spy Treasures of Hollywood” section in the Spy Museum was laughable. The greatest spy franchise, James Bond, has appeared in 20 movies spanning 5 decades. You’d think there would be a lot of props to display from so many scenes in so long a time to choose from. Here’s what the great Washington, D.C. museum had in their posession:

I returned to the Pink Sock to discover I had several voicemails from fellow friends pleading for drunken revelry with yours truly. I felt honored … but first I had to watch the revered Mavs destroy the foul-smelling Suns in game 3! As soon as this well-earned beating finished, I gathered up my Bowmen and headed out to Rosslyn metro station where a semi-drunk [removed] was being “ass-raped” (re: waiting for us). Luckily, Josh Bowman decided to drive, as the clueless [removed] also said the metro would be running until 3am (in fact: it was closing at midnight)!

It was good seeing [removed] again (perhaps the casual fan will know him better as Jungle Bean from international pop sensation Gentle Beans), and I’m here to report he is exactly the same as he was as my college roommate. Well, one notable exception: his coveted facial mole – coined “Milltoid” by an employee high up at the SteverOnline offices – has been removed due to an incorrect assumption of cancer by a USAF doctor. Luckily, unlike the mythological Samson none of [removed]‘s prowess (sexual or otherwise) was diminished with this deduction. One small cause for concern does exist, however, as the current whereabouts of said mole are unknown ([removed]: “They didn’t let me keep it”).

We showed up at the waterfront area of Georgetown where Josh, Cassie, [removed] and I met up with some of [removed]‘s old friends from JMU. Most I had known slightly from my days there as well, but the majority of my night was spent in awe of the [removed] show. And what a performance! He spent the first half of the night dodging having to get a wristband, and then used the absence of one as an excuse for others to buy him beer – the [removed] just keeps on coming! When a drunken guy in a hideous pair of pink shorts whisked his lust-interest (does anyone else remember Tait?) away, he assured to his audience, loudly, that he didn’t care as the gentleman didn’t have any gum (if you don’t understand this reference, I’m afraid that’s as much info as you get here). However, the subtle Cassanova [removed] kept mosying over to where his pink-panted rival had taken Tait off to every 2 minutes to “check on them.” Nay, the mole hole doesn’t stop this [removed]!

When the drinks died down and the party ended, we went our separate ways ([removed] to a tree to piss, and the rest of us towards our parked cars). [removed] alerted us that, although it was fun hanging out, he and Tait were going to “walk the rest of the way home.” Bowman, Cassie and I enjoyed the final, drunk sentence and went to get in Bowman’s car.

Now, Bowman had parked in a nearby garage sporting a giant sign that read: “Operational hours: Monday – Friday: 7am – 8pm.” Nowhere did it mention any weekend hours, but the gates were open and people were inside. As we arrived back at 2am, the gates were closed! Josh and I tried lifting them and squeezing under, but to no avail. A fun and helpful cop came over to “assist” us, but said there was nothing to do – even after Bowman said all he would be doing is stealing his own car. Just then, Tait, with [removed] in side saddle, drove by and helped us out by driving us home. On the way back, Tait got some gas and as she was outside pumping [removed] let us know that we were “eating into his sex time” and that we owed him our lives because “he decided to be nice and drive us home” … all from the passenger seat of someone else’s car! Tiiiiiite!

Everyone made it back to their respective beds … and I’m assuming that a) [removed] was able to get a few minutes in to his nocturnal activities before passing out and b) Josh managed to pry his car from the garage pound, so I’ll go out on a ledge here and say all ended well. But remember …

a [removed] never strikes twice!



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  • 1Lt “Jungle Juice”
    Wednesday, May 31st, 2006 at 10:44 | #1

    First off, I find it my civic duty to correct some of the incorrect and malicious lies that have been documented above…
    – During my short stint in the public eye, I was never known as “Jungle Bean.” I have always been known and loved as “Jungle Juice.”
    – Never would a gentleman like myself ever remotely think of using the phrase, “eating into my sex time.”
    – I do not recall saying that myself and Tait were planning to “walk the rest of the way home.”

    And for the record… Ms. Cassie Melnikow forced me to take some cleavage pictures of her chest and unknown to me, St. Anus had found a way to pry the camera away from me sometime afterwards and very discretely erased said pictures… I find this appalling and improper… I feel as though my and Cassie’s First Amendment rights as American citizens were violated by this act of deception, cowardice, and impropriety.

  • Sunday, December 30th, 2007 at 07:55 | #2

    Actually, I should retract some of my previous objections. While I am correct in stating that a gentleman would never say, “eating into my sex time” I should admit that I did actually say it that night… however, no harm done, as I made up for the loss of time later that night by keeping her up until dawn. Although, neither of us could really say it was all that good, because we were both wasted. Thanks anyways, Tait.

just in case you were worried sick about what i did this weekend

Ok, these weekend wrapup entries are getting old to write, and I’m sure they’re not the most exciting blogs to read (they’re maybe one step up from the basketball blogs), but I’ve been busy spending my blog-writing time finishing the stanus does Dallas episodes (I hope you’ve been appreciating them). The weekends are spent trying to be away from computers as much as possible, so my Monday blogs are just recaps of these adventures. Sorry, but them’s the breaks.

PPC Pwned!
The biggest news is that ultimate frisbee season is back! Team PPC has, again, been reincarnated – all of the main players have decided to participate again, giving us an instant experience edge over most of our opponents. This was extremely evident during our game Saturday afternoon. We played the Yellow Frisbeena (I could’ve sworn one of their members told me they were called Yellow Frisbee Nut) and quickly got ourselves into an 8-3 hole by halftime. None of us were in ultimate shape, and we were being sloppy in our fundamentals.

During the quick break we reviewed some of our basics and brought in a veteran squad to start off (there were about 10 new faces this game … go PPC). The vets really got a rhythm going, having played with each other for several seasons and we ended up winning the cap-shortened game 12-9 (yes, that means we went on a 9-1 run)! Though it was one of my poorer throwing games (3 turnovers), I had a great running game: I tallied 3 touchdowns and 1 assist, along with 3 blocks and an interception. Wow, I feel like Andrei Kirilenko (except for the gay, spiky haircut and resemblance to Dolph “Ivan Drago” Lundgren)!

A few rumors swirled about, but there was no definitive word on whether or not my PPC Pwned shirt/team name idea went through. Brandon and I sure said the phrase a lot during the game, though.

Only 6 pages of Beer???
Saturday, after the game, Steve and Toine came over to play some beer pong and hit DC with Cassie and I. Pong included much of its usual draws including a drunk (Steve was in rare form in his white jeans, prodding Anthony on his homosexual fantasy celebrity threesome partners, blowing a ball from one cup into the water cup, and performing more postshots this side of Jeff C[removed]), a convert (after complaining about the absurdity of beer pong for its entirety in my apartment, Cassie won 3 games in a row and hailed the game and statkeeping’s brilliance and elegance), and a doh (Toine knocked over a cup while trying to save a shot … sigh).

It started getting late and we took the metro to Chinatown where we tried out a place called RFD’s. Essentially, it was a watered down version of the Brickskeller. Whereas the Brickskeller was underground, and had a closed, intimate atmosphere and included hundreds of beers, RFD was just a bar/restaurant that had about 100 varieties. Lame. Even lamer was the fact that Toine said his only goal that night was to hit on girls and he hit on a total of zero.

March Sanity
It is over! The late, great run to the top of the DDC NCAA tournament pool ended last night as I made the final crossout on my bracket. It was a good run, though. My good bracket currently sits at 10th place out of 83 and it’s highest chart position was 9th! Though I was never in contention for money, I can’t believe I made it that high after ending the first and second round in the mid 50’s and 30’s, respectively. Still, it’s cool that George Mason is continuing to astound and may pull off the biggest upset ever (the lowest seed to win the whole shibang was an 8)!



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