Archive for the ‘Movie’ Category

Beer, Shame and Breasts: My Christmas Vacation

Photo © 2006 Cassie Melnikow

Just like my Thanksgiving wrapup a few weeks ago, I find myself in the terrible position of having a lot to say but not wanting to write any of it down here. The inspiration well is just totally dry at the moment. But, I’ve been blogging for so long that I know it will be back sooner or later … I just have to force myself to continue onward instead!

The Killiam OrnamentThe Killiam Update
Richard – of Hibernation Sickness infamy – graced the United States with his presence this Christmas holiday and I was lucky enough to host the French gentleman for a couple of nights. Although he touched down on Monday the 15th he was super busy running around and meeting up with family that I didn’t see his beautiful face until Friday the 19th. UPDATE: We tore it up at a few places in Yorkshire including a comedy club (where we saw a comedian throw a guy out during his act), a bar where the cops came in demanding to know where a patron’s jacket was, and another bar where we saw a huge fight that consisted of basically everyone in the bar except us three. It was actually nice for once to not be involved in any of the Yorkshire bar scuffles! Though I did end up puking that night 🙁

The Netflix OrnamentDoing My Best Impression Of The 2004-Post College Me
We all took buses down to Virginia and even though I had to wait 45 minutes in the freezing wind to board it the Boltbus was worth every penny of it’s $25 cost! I got the absolute furthest seat back and slept for the entire 4-hour trip. When I had finally unpacked and settled into my mom’s home again I suddenly became the laziest motherfucker of all time. Basically, I reverted back to the 2004 version of me. Though I had packed my PS3, a whole list of creative pursuits a week off would do wonders for, and a phonebook full of old friends in the area, all I had the energy to do was go through my Netflix instant queue and my mom’s DVD collection and watch movie after movie. I guess I was a little more burned out from work than I had thought and needed to just veg. Anyway, for you stanus.nut completists, here’s the movie schedule:

The Fantasy Football OrnamentX-Mas Results (Subtitle: I Hate Brandon Jones’ Blind Batshit Luck)
In between all of this movie watching I slipped in some Xmas time with the ‘rents. Steve and I woke up Christmas day and opened gifts at my mom’s place first. The big gift was my college diploma frame … which I had unknowingly discovered a month previous! I’m not sure why my mom felt the need to still wrap it but it will look great on my wall besides my somewhat less classy giant Mavericks flag.

Then it was off to the Z-News headquarters for Xmas Round 2! There we exchanged gifts and met the new member of the clan: a huge, mean-looking but super-friendly pit bull named Amos who my stepbrother and his wife adopted recently. I was advised not to attempt to pet him or even look him in the eye until he got used to my presence! After we all became friends, we passed around gifts and found out that between three of us we had received four copies of the new John Lennon biography. Herr Z-News had the whole day off (he’s been quite busy recently) and after gift-giving we witnessed his emotional return to the virtual links of Tiger Woods: Ass-Play for the Wii. We laughed at this sad hobby of his and then headed back for Xmas dinner at mom’s.

… where I discovered that Brandon had won both of the fantasy football leagues we were in together 🙁 Sure, I came in last place in one of the leagues. Sure, I was in first place for the vast majority of the season in the other. Yes, Brandon missed one of the drafts completely and had to rely on Yahoo’s autodraft feature. But none of these were what stung the most. Nay, the shame was heaped upon me as I realized I made a fucking [stanus.net] banner about my previous fantasy football wins in the last two years. Ah, stats curse!

The Janelle OrnamentA Jan-Yell Afternoon
I had been such a bum all week that my body became accustomed to my behavior in just a few short days. In fact, Cassie had to convince me to go out and meet up with several of our high school friends in Arlington for lunch and drinks. Even though it was Janelle’s birthday celebration and would mean I know everyone there, I grumbled and had to force myself out of bed to show up on time (fun, not-so-surprising note: I was half an hour late). However, as soon as I arrived I wondered what made me think this wouldn’t be a fun time in the first place. It was cool to see old friends who now all lived multiple states away from me and exercise slightly more control over drinking with them! After a quick lunch, we all decided to stay and drink a couple of rounds and shoot the shit for a couple of hours.

The Jungle Bean OrnamentA Quiet Evening Out With Jeff C[removed] and Kachold
… but the drinking didn’t stop there! And the Jeff C[removed] was just starting! I had stopped by Jeff’s new Arlington pad for a total of five minutes at one point during Janelle’s lunch. Thinking I had to drive back to return a rental car I hurried out of there, but when I decided upon an alternate plan Cassie and I stopped back at Chez Jeff C[removed] after Janelle’s party moved to the hotel lobby.

After catching up with each other’s adventures who but old college pal (It’s) Rich (Bitch) showed up. He and Jeff were heading out to DC to see some rockabilly/burlesque show and I got talked into checking it out as well. UPDATE: Rich knew one of the dancers and demanded we go there to check her out. To tell you the truth, it was a hilarious night. For example, Rich got so trashed he was thrown out of the bar before he even walked into it. UPDATE: The rockabilly band was forgettable, but it was a strange site seeing 3 guys who looked like the Stray Cats in the middle of ghetto DC. The burlesque dancers were slightly better: Rich’s friend was attractive but the other dancer was HUGE! Unfortunately, their strip teases just seemed so out of place. I dunno. I really was more interested in discussing Jeff C[removed]‘s mole’s return than watching them strip. Unfortunately, I’m just not up to telling anymore of the night’s story right now. I do have a whole bunch of pictures from the night, however. Maybe I can put together a quick photo essay or something. Or not. Actually, bet on the “or not.”

All right, I hope everyone else had a great vacation, too. L8r!

Current Mood: Drained emoticon Drained

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  • Cassie
    Monday, January 12th, 2009 at 00:45 | #1

    Yorkshire, home to such notable people as Emily Bronte and Dame Judi Dench! That is where we live!

  • Monday, January 12th, 2009 at 10:37 | #2

    Yorkshire … Yorkville. Same thing, right?

Turkey Wrap

I’ve done a lot in the past couple of weeks. And I don’t want to write about any of it! For some reason I have no trouble contributing to The Doh Drop or Project NBA Sim – my two other blogs I manage – but [stanus.net] is hurting for inspiration. But I’ll grip the bathroom walls tightly and try to force one out here.

Quantum of Solace
My dad came to visit New York City two weeks ago and (as Schumie would say) we had a ball! The first highlight of the weekend was seeing Quantum of Solace. We checked it out in the huge Lincoln Square theater (we were in the pyramid-themed room). I’ll try not to spoil the movie for you but … it sucked. The Bond girls were absolutely unnecessary (really … another female spy? This is getting old) and the villains were turds. It seemed like all of a sudden the director realized they were at the end of the movie so there had to be a fight and an explosion. How is it Bond was able to incapacitate three Mi6 agents … in an elevator … while handcuffed but had trouble defeating the lame, nerd villain at the end? I’ll suspend my logic for any movie but once the movie throws it’s own rules out the window so goes any respect I have for it as well.

The worst part was the comparison a week later. I watched Casino Royale for a second time a couple of days later and realized that Bond hardly says a word in the new movie. Sure, Daniel Craig’s Bond isn’t a dandy at all (which sucks … come on, let’s have a character flaw somewhere in this superman) but at least he had a style in Royale. In Solace all he does is say a quip and then shoots people. Ugh … every bad action movie from the 90s rears it’s ugly head again. That being said, I can’t hate any Bond movie because I’m FOND OF BOND so I give it 6 out of 10 sucked-in Daniel Craig cheeks.

I would like to note that I went to the theater two days before seeing Solace there to make sure it was the right theater that I thought it was. As soon as I got to the entrance I was surprised to see that … Daniel Craig was standing right outside the entrance! It was some film festival and 30 photographers along with a fence separated the two of us but it was still a moment to remember 🙂

Knicks vs. Mavs
My dad must have done some massive planning as his visit coincided directly with the Mavericks coming into town to take on the Knicks. I knew he wouldn’t be able to stay away from Madison Square Garden with the threat of entertainment of that quality so I decided to get tickets. Oh, that and I had already committed myself to getting rediculous good seats for the game, anyway. So we showed up for the slumping Mavs who had lost 5 straight. The game, unfortunately, was more of the same as the boys from Dallas never led at any moment in any of the four quarters.

… But they did tie at the last second and dominated in overtime! Huzzah! It was actually a great game though games where the correct team wins always seem to be better than those other unmentionable matches. And since Dirk and I were in the same building the Mavs have only lost 1 game. He just needed his inspiration back, I guess 😉 Alright, although there were several stories from the game, I’ll let the matter go since no one else likes the perfect sport of basketball 🙁

Thanksgiving
I had Thanksgiving and the day after off from work so I took an Amtrak train down to the Commonwealth of Virginia for the annual Mills Thanksgiving festivus. It was fun to see all the cousins show up (even with a new cousin-in-law!) and was just long enough where I didn’t go crazy. Seriously, when I am finally in charge of Thanksgivings they will be something very, very different (is it sad that I am a 27-year old man who still receives orders to do certain things on Thanksgiving?). The feature presentation form the night was when Stever went up against cousin Zack’s wife, Alexandra, in a heated Saved by the Bell trivia contest. It was kind of like the NBA All-Star game where both sides were just silly and goofing off at first but then the competition started getting serious. I don’t know if I could declare a winnner between them but I definitely declared a loser.

Before getting to my grandparents house in Harrisonburg, VA Stever and I stopped by the old stomping grounds at JMU where we walked, photographed, and (in my case) swiped memories. I grabbed a broken-off brick from my freshman dorm, Ikenberry. Maybe I’ll copy Stever and paint something on it, who knows. It’s interesting to note that – should I keep the memento – I will continue to bring a broken, dirty brick with me in each of my future moves.

After dinner I drove my mom’s car back home where I finally played a Wii for the first time. In a turn for the cooler, my dad has gotten back into video games. He’s obsessed with the Tiger Woods golf game for the console and I got to experience the gay-mote … I mean wii-mote action in person!!! Instead of a full, natural golf swing he does a whipping motion at the bottom of his swing where he would normally come into contact with the ball. It must be seen to truly be appreciated. Anyway, I still find the wii-mote wand – in its current form – to be a bit gimmicky. I mean, I enjoyed playing the sensor games in the arcades (I remember one where you were a cop and depending on where you’d move your character would duck or dodge bullets) but only for a gag. Then I’d immediately go back to the skill games of Street Fighter II or the like for hours. For casual gamers this is obviously a godsend but for me, I dunno. I’ll try to keep an open mind but my first impressions didn’t do much to convert me. We’ll see how the next gen goes.

Virginia Tech vs. UVA
Over the weekend I was also given the opportunity to witness the craziness of division 1 college football in person. Now, I had actually been to a Virginia Tech game back in 1999 but the experience was worlds different. My view was from the marching band stands and I was rooting for JMU who never had a chance (and who got their asses destroyed). This time I was with Cassie (a UVA alum) and her sister (a Tech alum) so I got to see the full spectrum of insanity. I can’t say I understand it (I have many reasons why my love for the Mavs is different but I won’t bore you here with those airtight reasons of pure fact) but it sure was an interesting study in human psychology.

We (along with father, “Papa Mel”) arrived at the campus at the downright batshit time of 7:45 AM to an empty parking lot outside a really nice “frat” house. It wasn’t the type of frat house I was used to – this one was more of a social club. Very nice and nothing like the beer-drenched debautery I was familiar with. Slowly, the place filled up with Virginia Tech alumni – all in their maroon and orange glory – and all way over the age of 50! One man even pulled out a hand-cranked calliope that played the Tech school song (complete with bell-ringing Hokie statue)! It was fun for a while but I probably didn’t drink as much as I should have for when we made the trek to the game at noon I was freezing (it was so cold it actually started snowing towards the end of the game).

Oh yeah, I was also dressed as a UVA fan since Cassie demanded I root for her team (so far this always happens at away games where every giant man thinks I’m some huge fan of the opposing team and messes with me). Actually this time it wasn’t so bad since we were in the alumni section of the stadium. The game was close and (dare I say it) entertaining with the Hokies winning 17-14. Luckily, I thanked my amazing decision to not drink at the game for when we all finally got back late that night I was the only one not experiencing some form of a hangover!

There you go … a busy couple of weeks condensed into a blob of a blog. It was messy but I managed to get it all out! And don’t worry, I feel another one coming on soon 😉

    Site Updates:

  • Changed Netflix sidebar widget to show my latest movie reviews

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The Blue Butt?

Photo © 2008 Stan Syckes

Instead of relaxing over the weekend, I worked! Cassie and I spent most of the two days painting three of the living room walls and one bedroom wall in our Upper East Side apartment. And we learned a big lesson: paint before you actually move in. It was absolute hell squeezing in between small spots, moving around furniture to gain an extra inch, and awkwardly balancing myself on a ladder that could only fit in so many places. But, after two days, we’re pretty much done.

Oh, and for all you women out there (!!!) the colors chosen were Bahaman Sea Blue (living room) and Crushed Velvet (bedroom). For some reason I wanted a red wall and I got it with the bedroom … but it was a scary thing as that Crushed Velvet started out reeeeeeallly pink in the beginning.

You know what? The last time I painted a room (my Brooklyn bedroom) was exactly 2 years ago. Wild. And unnecessarily noted! But who careth?

Moving on to things of a more masculine sort, Cassie and I took a break Saturday night from our painting duties to check out Bill Maher’s Religulous documentary. The film was extremely funny, educational and yet depressing at the same time. I share much of Maher’s views but not always his optimism in the face of all this craziness. Still, this movie is, as Freddie Mercury would say, “recommended at the price” (I currently have “Killer Queen” stuck in my head).

Finally, we saw Religulous at UA East 85th Street, a really small but surprisingly nice, 1-screen theater just 6 blocks away from my apartment. Sure, it doesn’t have the same ragtag, antique style as the Mayfair Triplex but it’s closer and a little nicer. Regardless, I don’t have to give up my little mini-theater once-every-other-month hobby. More interesting things coming next post!

Current Mood: Accomplished emoticon Accomplished

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  • Friday, October 17th, 2008 at 11:44 | #1

    Toine looks pretty good on your desktop wallpaper

The Dark Butt

© 2008 Warner Bros.

SPOILER ALERT! In case you somehow have outlasted me I spill the proverbial bat-beans on The Dark Knight in this blog. I went to go see it with Cassie at the Mayfair Triplex so I must now give the obligatory review! Per my usual, crazy ways (re: not watching any trailers, ignoring people’s conversations about the movie, even heorically pulling myself away from the latest SteverOnline) I went into the theater not knowing much – if anything – about the film. And, once again, I feel all the work this method requires and ridicule I must endure because of it is validated as I can guarantee a hype-free experience to the pleasure zones in my brain! And then I can give all you readers a review that is 100% THE TRUTH!

The Dark Knight was heavily marketed as a superb superhero blockbuster a la Iron Man. But whereas Iron Man was perhaps the best summer throwaway movie I’ve ever seen, The Dark Knight attempted to be more: an intelligent, complex thriller – and it worked! For the most part.

Heath Ledger’s performance has been unanimously celebrated and rightfully so. He owns this movie just like Nicholson’s acting in the 1989 original movie did, as well. Maybe the role is just so juicy no actor can get it wrong (hell, Cesar Romero’s Joker was pretty awesome too come to think of it). Regardless, I think this is the best portrayal of the Joker in any medium – including the comics. He’s equal parts psycho and smart; a completely devious criminal whose qualities are neither too cartoony (1966) nor too CEO-like (1989). Batman can take out all the muggers and thugs he wants but it figures that Gotham City would start to become a city plagued by terror when someone constantly slips through his fingers. More on that later.

Bale, on the other hand, sleepwalks through his Batman role again … the “Batman” voice is just absurd, people. Take a second to try to imitate the voice he does and I bet you it will come out closer to dead-on rather than parody. In most scenes involving the Dark Knight I found myself watching the villain or the gadgets rather than the main character. I did enjoy seeing how Batman was already accepted as a de facto last line of defense in the police squad – that makes sense. Sure, they don’t always understand him, but they trust him when the going gets tough (all of their tactics fail trying to keep Dent’s transfer safe and then he swoops right in as part of the plan). It’s weird, though … Batman is an obsessed, single-minded crime fighter so I could understand why he would stare all the time, but Bale stares through people. It pierces the veil of escapism. Suddenly, I’m cognizant that he’s acting. It’s annoying.

To round out the review of the superheroes (and to stick with the pervasive theme of the character) here are two words that sum up my feelings about Two-Face: tacked on.

All the secondary characters are actually strong (including pre-Face Dent) except for Rachel. Not because of her acting or character, but just because … no non-superhero women belong in Batman’s world. He’s dedicated his life to fighting crime since the age of 12, he doesn’t have time for romance! He probably has already severed off his penis to be less susceptible to groin attacks! But I digress.

If camp was the theme of the Adam West version, gritty the theme for the Michael Keaton, and confused the “theme” for the Clooney version, “terror” presided all over The Dark Knight. And I for one thought it was a great choice. The whole movie involved complex psychoanalytical looks into how people show their true faces under pressure and it never really let up until the very end. I felt exhausted when the credits finally rolled (the length of the movie didn’t help that feeling).

Since it’s getting late over here I’ll sum up. Excellent supporting characters, well-done (and well-paced!) action sequences, excellent dialogue, average Batman, terrible second villain. The Dark Knight had an interesting take on the Batman world and executed it pretty well, overall. Only a few bumps mar this film: 4 out of 5 Dirk Nowitzkis carrying the German national flag.

UPDATE: I just saw The Dark Knight again and liked it even better, though not enough to change my original score. Just think of it as a stronger, healthier 4 out of 5 Dirk Nowitzki.

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  • Tuesday, July 29th, 2008 at 11:40 | #1

    Have you seen The Dark Knight yet?

  • Tuesday, July 29th, 2008 at 14:15 | #2

    Why does your link to “4 out of 5 Dirk Nowitzkis carrying the German national flag” NOT link to a photo of Dirk Nowitzki carrying the German national flag?

  • Tuesday, July 29th, 2008 at 14:46 | #3

    Because, contrary to any Twilight Zone episodes you’ve seen, there is no such thing as a camera that can see into the future.

The Mayfair Triplex

I had planned to just take it easy and spend the long Memorial Day weekend bumming around with Cassie when she suddenly had to head out of town unexpectedly, taking her car with her. I was now stranded in my house alone as all of my roommates were either traveling or camping for the weekend. What was I going to do with only my stack of video games; multiple guitars; NBA playoffs basketball on tv; and nearby, giant, metropolis, New York City to keep me entertained?

I improvised and wandered around my neighborhood!

Walking 10 blocks south of my house I ran into a quaint (lo, I hate the word), rundown theater that played new movies for $5 called The Mayfair Triplex (or “Mayfai Trip” as it’s known on the front marquee). After a little research on the interweb, I discovered the Mayfair Triplex is a pre-1950’s theater that was once one giant screen but has since been remodeled into three screens. I’ve been in two of the rooms and they both are strangely shaped, nothing resembling any of the theaters I’ve been in before (one of theme even had a couple old movie organs … though I doubt they were used here). There’s even the remains of the original balcony above one of the rooms. It all comes together to make a really unique viewing atmosphere. Please don’t confuse the word unique with good, as the sound was terrible and the picture quality wasn’t great, either.

Well, since I had 48+ solid hours to kill, the location was so close, and I loved the experience so much, I actually ended up seeing two movies at the Mayfair Triplex about which I will now review!!!!!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – much like Spider-Man 3, this movie is really a tale of two halves. The first half is good (not great) with Chinflap Jones hitting all the regular Indy formula points: Paramount logo merging into “mountain,” mini-serial opening, Indy interacts with important historical event of the time, shot of Indy’s college, humorous gags in the middle of action sequences, Indy gets into archeology traps, etc. And then, all of a sudden, around the halfway point, the movie turns into a terrible version of The Incredibles. Indy is a regular guy – sure he can fight well, he’s lucky and he’s smart – but he can get hurt. He’s surely not a superhero and yet that’s what the second half seemed like – the superhero Family Jones summer vacation. Ugh. And don’t get me started about the aliens … ladies and gentlemen, it will soon come out that that lame aspect was George Lucas‘ idea and not Spielberg‘s.
Verdict: 2 out of 5 Anthony Stets figurines.

Iron Man – whereas I kept waiting for Indiana Jones to get good again after the half way mark, during Iron Man I was anticipating the moment it would get lame or too fanboy-ish. I was still waiting when the credits started rolling. Wow … I wasn’t really overwhelmed by this moive: it’s too superhero-by-the-numbers to be great and too solid to be terrible. I guess Iron Man lands in the barren category that is “actually good, but ultimately throwaway movie.” Other movies in this group: Blade and anything from Jean-Claude Van Damme‘s early career. I’d go into more details about the movie but who cares? It has robotic suits of death armor, taut but concise action sequences, and Robert Downey Jr. sipping cocktails. What more need you know?
Verdict: 3 out of 5 Dirk Nowitzki jersies

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The Backburner (Part 1)

As a creative guy, I’ll let you in on a secret: being creative is both a curse and a blessing. My imagination has helped in a lot of my schoolwork and it’s absolutely essential for my musical aspirations. I’m also never bored unless I’m in a setting where I’m expected to not be creative.

However, when I go too long without putting time into any of my numerous projects I get really frustrated and can be an absolute nightmare to be around. Also, with my unending well of creativity, I tend to continue to see different ways to approach a goal, adding more and more obstacles for me to overcome. One of my biggest enemies is my out of control scope-creep. What I mean is, I’m an amazing, inspired starter who usually adds so much to an idea that I can never finish them.

Over the years many of my friends have poked fun at my projects – especially the fact that I never seem to make any real progress with them. This, coupled with my current time-management woes, had me thinking: I wanted to make a list of all the huge, creative projects (anything I’ve been working on for more than a year) to update everyone on my insanity. I also figured this type of real research into my progress might be a good kick in the pants.

Well, in typical fashion, I thought this would only take me a day or two to compile, but it’s taken over a week so far. So, I’m splitting this blog up into several posts to 1) take the immense pressure I put upon myself as the only person in my blogging community who writes anymore and 2) to actually get this thing published. For each entry I will document how close I think I am to being done, when I began the project, any other dates I’ve picked it up along the way, it’s status, and when I think I’ll finally be done with it (ETA).

Beer Pong Video Game
Progress: 10%
Initial Start: Spring 2004
Second Start: Spring 2006
Status: Intense Hiatus
ETA: 20xx (Mega Man 2 style)

None of my projects have received more jokes than the beer pong video game. When I moved into Sunchase apartment 736 I my senior year of college, my roommates and I took beer pong very seriously: We played 139 straight nights. We kept track of all-time scores on a dry erase board. We even made a commemorative t-shirt on the 100th night. During my super-senior year, my friends and I only got more hardcore into this sport of kings. I started to keep statistics, much like other sports – for example how many air balls, lucky bounces, and blocks a person would get in a game.

When I graduated in December of 2003, I still had six months on my college apartment lease so I had a lot of free time (I barely worked). Armed with this boredom, I started to devise the greatest video game of all time: a simulation of my beer pong experience at JMU (programmed in visual basic)! You could play as any of the characters that had walked through those hallowed doors and, based on their playing statistics that I kept, you would play just like that person. I even thought about implementing a feature that would throw the ball from that person’s specific height. I started to collect some previews of the game on a website, though that fizzled extremely fast.

It was a grand idea, but one that ultimately died at the hands of projectile physics. When I got to the actual programming of the movement of the ball – gravity, parabolas, bouncing off objects – the math overwhelmed me and I retreated to the safe and inviting arms of Brandon Jones.

Since I put down the project in the summer of 2004, the beer pong video game has popped up a few times. In the spring of 2006, I started to log beer pong stats at the Pink Sock (my apartment in Arlington, VA). I even started to create game-design spreadsheets and the flow chart of game logic. But I still haven’t found a good and easy programming language to work in. I’m looking for something that can handle projectile physics without having to rely on my poor math skills, yet also not have a huge learning curve to program in.

I’ve put too much time into this project already and still have too much interest in it to let it die. This thing will be created … eventually. Jokes withstanding!

Watchmen: A Dissection
Progress: 3%
Initial Start: Spring 2004
Second Start: Spring 2006
Status: Uninterrupted Hiatus
ETA: 2012

Created between 1986 and 1987, Watchmen is perhaps the greatest comic ever produced. It definitely is my favorite and I’ve wanted to create a site that would analyze every panel of every page. There are so many allusions, flashbacks, foreshadowing, and clues hidden in each one that I’m still not sure I’ve discovered everything. But, I’d like to give it the ol’ stanus.butt try.

I originally conceived this idea during my “lost semester” at college in the spring of 2004 and started a website that would collect all of the information. I didn’t get very far as some other projects *cou(beer pong game)gh* quickly swept it into the dusty backburner parts of my brain. Still, I’d like to eventually study the whole comic (something like 400 pages). Since Watchmen only comes off the shelf about once every two years, however, I don’t see this happening anytime really soon.

Bond on Bond
Progress: 15%
Initial Start: Winter 2000
Status: Years-Long Hiatus
ETA: 2011 or Never … could go either way

Having seen all James Bond movies at least thrice – with the exception of Casino Royale – and upon completion of reading every Ian Fleming novel it’s safe to say I’m a rabid Bond fan. The obsession has been with me since childhood, so I’ve been meaning to create some sort of Bond database for some time. This idea actually preceeded my Seinfeld, Seinsmelled section and I created a start up site here (warning, it’s godawful). Eventually, I’d like to do something a little more subjective and less fan-fictiony (I still can’t believe I took that route for some areas) – incorporating the books and possibly other media, as well.

Unfortunately, there are already some great Bond sites out there already and my motivation wanes with each passing year. Still, I might need some help in getting through every single feature loaded on to the 2-disc special edition DVD of each movie (and, yes, I plan to get them someday). This might just fit in nicely with those plans. Ah, synergy!

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  • Brent
    Thursday, September 6th, 2007 at 18:21 | #1

    Stan,

    I for one applaud your ludicrous undertakings. I know you’ve started over from scratch with new hardware on the all-time basketball match-up, but what happened to the web page for it? I want to see stats and updates.

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Blog Lull

There must be something in the air because it seems that almost everyone in my blogging community has given up! Even stanus.butt is feeling the pressure to succumb to laziness as I am writing about subjects further and further away from when they occurred. This is in comparison to some of my blogs in the past that were written the day of or the next day after an event. Sometimes, a few days in between the subject of my post and actually writing my post seems to give me time to reflect and put my thoughts together. However, I prefer a badly written, honest, real-time response blog over a censored and organized, well-written overview blog anyday.

So, to get back on blogging schedule, I’m going to do some catching up here and touch on some subjects I had been wanting to write about but haven’t yet. With all that blog baggage gone, I feel I can begin to better stick to my blogging prinicples!

Public Pissing and the Quality of Life – back in May I had a wild night out with the roommates that ended up with me in a taxi for way too long while I was way too drunk. As soon as we came to a stop, I jumped out and hid behind a parked car and relieved myself. Unfortunately, I did a poor hiding job as I suddenly heard a police siren wail. I stopped, mid-stream, and started to walk away, but a bullhorn-amplified voice ordered me to stop. Fun :)! The cops were really polite, actually, and so was I as I was quickly ticketed and then sent on my merry way.

My punishment was to arrive at Midtown Community Court on July 27th at 9:30 in the morning. The last time I had run afoul of the law was back in 2001 for some underage possession of alcohol … as I was possessing it inside my stomach (what a great country we live in). That courtroom experience was just a quick conveyor belt of names being called, pleas being stated, and sentences being doled out. Now I was in a Manhattan court, so I had to wait through a few semi-interesting real cases before finally being called up to the stand.

I was literally up for all of a second as my court-appointed counselor had me accept the typical punishment – a 20-minute class on the “quality of life.” Then, provided that I kept my nose clean, the entire incident would be wiped from my record in six months. Not a bad deal, actually. The class was quick and painless and I was out of there before noon. What a weird experience.

And, no, this was not the punishment Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza would have received from their foray into public urination in [3.06] The Parking Garage. I was alerted that back in 1991 (when this episode was released) the punsihment was nothing but a fine.

Muse at Madison Square Garden -I’ve been getting pretty hard into Muse since the beginning of this year (not really sure what inspired me to give their catalog another listen after scoffing at them back in 1999). Last month I decided to check out their website to see when they would be coming up to New York to play live and it turned out they were coming in two weeks! I quickly grabbed a ticket and asked if anyone else wanted to go, but it was way too little notice and I ended up going alone.

That, in itself, was a little weird. Add to that the fact that everone else there was in high school made it really weird. The only people in line for beers were me and the dads who brought their kids. I had no clue Muse had a huge, young kid following, but I guess they do. There’s not a whole lot to say about the concert itself: the opening act was so bad I left halfway through their show, and Muse absolutely destroyed the place. I definitely have to see them again.

Joining the Net’ – In the envelope with my Muse tickets came an advertisement for Netflix. Well, after perusing their website once again I finally decided it was a good idea to join. I selected the 1-at-a-time plan (which means I have no limit to how many I can watch in a month, but I only get one at a time) and eagerly await my first rental when I get home: Alfred Hitchcock’s The 39 Steps. So far I’m really impressed with the selection on Netflix, and my queue of movies is 200-deep! I can finally start tackling that “must see movie” list I started to compile back in college.

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Transmogrification!!!

My route home from work is a quick, 2-stop subway ride on the Q train, then a 10 minute walk underground to the Port Authority where I wait to get on a half-hour long bus ride. Usually, there’s no line and I get right on a bus. Sometimes, there’s a 10 minute-long wait and a few times a month there’s a ridiculously long queue backed up into the next area.

When I find myself faced with a half-hour long wait in line I usually turn right around and head outside directly into Times Square. There’s always something to do … though it’s usually to eat as that’s what’s mostly in that area. Luckily, there’s also the coolest comic store I’ve ever been in, Mile High Comics. I’ve been seeing ads for this store in the back of my comics for over two decades now (wow) and I’ve finally checked it out. One whole floor of back issues, another whole floor of trade paperbacks and new issues. I feel like I’m 12 again every time I enter (and, my god, the money flows like water in there)!

Usually, after spending half an hour in this wonderland, I’ll complete the trip back to youth and skip across the street to indulge in some fine cuisine a la Burger King. Contrary to popular belief (and my history), these are now the only times I make the foray into fast food. Anyway, long story short, Burger King has partnered with the Simpsons movie (which I’m convinced will suck). On the side of their cups they advertised Simpsonize Me – a website that boasted the ability to transform a regular photograph of you into a Simpsons character version.

Well, here’s me and it turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought (ok, so I added the Dallas jersey). I’m especially impressed that the website AI captured my natural, come hither stare! So, go check it out, and I’d love to see what everyone’s Simpsons counterparts look like. I shall post any that I get!

UPDATE: For all you JMU alumni, here’s the Simpsons version of mascot, Ben Schumin.

UPDATE: Here’s Brandon’s cartoon counterpart. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a chin flap option 🙁

UPDATE: Based on the neglected status of the Dohblog, I knew he’d never do one himself, so I did Toine (it felt good to say that)

UPDATE: It’s the craze that’s sweeping the nation! Even the fine reporters at Z-News have gotten into the act. Here’s CEO, Shelby “Zepmoon,” apparently standing in a puddle of his own waste.

UPDATE: Huge Dallas Mavericks fan, Cassie Melnikow, even makes an appearance into the Simpsons’ world.

UPDATE: Stever, Chairman and Founder of SteverOnline Incorporated, as depicted by Simpsons cartoonists.

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TWITTER: Rocky Inspiration

After watching the original Rocky I’m so inspired – ready to go 15 rounds with Apollo Creed

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TWITTER: Best Fight Scene

Is there a better fight scene than the one between Luke and Darth Vader in Empire Strikes Back!?

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