Glory Story: Chapter the First!

Contest Updates
For some reason, the official workout contest website doesn’t seem to have been updated with the latest news, so I will have to alert everyone who has been following this hotly contested tournament of doom! Daily Dwayne and his wife have dropped out, leaving Brandon “Pokerjobber” Hochradel, Nate “The Newdle Layout” Crandell, and myself as the only contestants standing. It’s going to be very interesting from here on in – the exercises are beginning to wind me and I’m still having trouble coming down to earth off the eating high that was the cruise. I shall keep thee posted!

And speaking of the cruise, I promised a recap of my week-long adventure into the Caribbean. I’m sorry to say that I have neither the time nor the energy to go into a full day-by-day detail such as stanus does Dallas, so this will just have to suffice.

    03/03 – Traveling to Orlando

  • Wake up at 4:30 am after less than four hours of sleep, take subway into Manhattan
  • Attempt to deposit my paycheck but homeless man sleeping in ATM room scares me off
  • Grab cab to La Guardia, pick up EGM (a magazine that I have a subscription to and, yet, haven’t received in months) and board flight to Orlando
  • Sleep entire flight
  • Although we’re in the very back of the plane, crazy lady next to me demands to get up and find her coat immediately upon landing
  • Get bags from incredibly spacious Orlando airport and wait for Cassie for about half an hour (Melnislow factor begins!)
  • Cassie arrives, we can’t find her bag for awhile … finally find it with bright orange “heavy” tag slapped on as it was way over the 50 lb. limit
  • Get through inspection to board ship, but pass out soon after, missing the first dinner
    03/04 – Nassau, Bahamas

  • We exit the ship and taxi our way to Paradise Island – with the famous Atlantis Resort and Hotel
  • Right outside the Atlantis we buy tickets to parasail … the men call Cassie “boss lady” the entire time
  • Cassie and I go first and it feels just like sitting in a big swing (older couple onboard takes our pictures)
  • 4:00 Do the extremely lame Name That Tune in the Old Glory Lobby with most boring host ever
  • 8:30 We go to our first meal at the Golden Restaurant
  • It’s a formal night, but we are the only people at our table – our waitress tells us no one was there last night. We will actually remain the only people to show up to our table for the remainder of the trip
  • For Cassie’s birthday we order glasses of two Napa Valley wines – I don’t notice any difference from my cheap wine tasting experience
  • Near the end of the meal the entire crew in the room get in the middle, light candles and sing an Italian song
  • Go to the 10th deck and steal a lifesaver for pictures
  • Visit the Camel Club Casino where I win $2.50 at blackjack and Cassie wins $5 at the roulette table (high rollers!)
    03/05 – Day at Sea 1

  • Woke up and freaked out – ran to Cyberspace Café and logged in to set fantasy basketball players for full week!!! At 75 cents per minute this only cost me $20!!!
  • 2:00 We go to the trivia contest in the Ivory Club – name the company based on it’s slogan – meet Bill “Vampire” guy
  • 2:30 We stay in the Ivory Club for the Boggle-like Clap Trap game which we win thanks to word puzzle mastermind, Cassandra Melnikow
  • Visit Camel Club Casino where Cassie breaks even at roulette table
  • 8:30 Go to dinner at the Golden Restaurant and, once again, it is just us at our table
  • Entire crew dances to Mambo Number 5 and La Vida Loca – Cassie is pulled up by waitress to dance (!!)
  • We order wine from Woodbridge and I don’t notice any difference between it and the Napa Valley
  • We go back to Casino where I win $10 at roulette and Cassie loses $40 – but not before she is asked by female croupier if she is 18 years old!

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