Beer, Shame and Breasts: My Christmas Vacation

Photo © 2006 Cassie Melnikow

Just like my Thanksgiving wrapup a few weeks ago, I find myself in the terrible position of having a lot to say but not wanting to write any of it down here. The inspiration well is just totally dry at the moment. But, I’ve been blogging for so long that I know it will be back sooner or later … I just have to force myself to continue onward instead!

The Killiam OrnamentThe Killiam Update
Richard – of Hibernation Sickness infamy – graced the United States with his presence this Christmas holiday and I was lucky enough to host the French gentleman for a couple of nights. Although he touched down on Monday the 15th he was super busy running around and meeting up with family that I didn’t see his beautiful face until Friday the 19th. UPDATE: We tore it up at a few places in Yorkshire including a comedy club (where we saw a comedian throw a guy out during his act), a bar where the cops came in demanding to know where a patron’s jacket was, and another bar where we saw a huge fight that consisted of basically everyone in the bar except us three. It was actually nice for once to not be involved in any of the Yorkshire bar scuffles! Though I did end up puking that night 🙁

The Netflix OrnamentDoing My Best Impression Of The 2004-Post College Me
We all took buses down to Virginia and even though I had to wait 45 minutes in the freezing wind to board it the Boltbus was worth every penny of it’s $25 cost! I got the absolute furthest seat back and slept for the entire 4-hour trip. When I had finally unpacked and settled into my mom’s home again I suddenly became the laziest motherfucker of all time. Basically, I reverted back to the 2004 version of me. Though I had packed my PS3, a whole list of creative pursuits a week off would do wonders for, and a phonebook full of old friends in the area, all I had the energy to do was go through my Netflix instant queue and my mom’s DVD collection and watch movie after movie. I guess I was a little more burned out from work than I had thought and needed to just veg. Anyway, for you stanus.nut completists, here’s the movie schedule:

The Fantasy Football OrnamentX-Mas Results (Subtitle: I Hate Brandon Jones’ Blind Batshit Luck)
In between all of this movie watching I slipped in some Xmas time with the ‘rents. Steve and I woke up Christmas day and opened gifts at my mom’s place first. The big gift was my college diploma frame … which I had unknowingly discovered a month previous! I’m not sure why my mom felt the need to still wrap it but it will look great on my wall besides my somewhat less classy giant Mavericks flag.

Then it was off to the Z-News headquarters for Xmas Round 2! There we exchanged gifts and met the new member of the clan: a huge, mean-looking but super-friendly pit bull named Amos who my stepbrother and his wife adopted recently. I was advised not to attempt to pet him or even look him in the eye until he got used to my presence! After we all became friends, we passed around gifts and found out that between three of us we had received four copies of the new John Lennon biography. Herr Z-News had the whole day off (he’s been quite busy recently) and after gift-giving we witnessed his emotional return to the virtual links of Tiger Woods: Ass-Play for the Wii. We laughed at this sad hobby of his and then headed back for Xmas dinner at mom’s.

… where I discovered that Brandon had won both of the fantasy football leagues we were in together 🙁 Sure, I came in last place in one of the leagues. Sure, I was in first place for the vast majority of the season in the other. Yes, Brandon missed one of the drafts completely and had to rely on Yahoo’s autodraft feature. But none of these were what stung the most. Nay, the shame was heaped upon me as I realized I made a fucking [] banner about my previous fantasy football wins in the last two years. Ah, stats curse!

The Janelle OrnamentA Jan-Yell Afternoon
I had been such a bum all week that my body became accustomed to my behavior in just a few short days. In fact, Cassie had to convince me to go out and meet up with several of our high school friends in Arlington for lunch and drinks. Even though it was Janelle’s birthday celebration and would mean I know everyone there, I grumbled and had to force myself out of bed to show up on time (fun, not-so-surprising note: I was half an hour late). However, as soon as I arrived I wondered what made me think this wouldn’t be a fun time in the first place. It was cool to see old friends who now all lived multiple states away from me and exercise slightly more control over drinking with them! After a quick lunch, we all decided to stay and drink a couple of rounds and shoot the shit for a couple of hours.

The Jungle Bean OrnamentA Quiet Evening Out With Jeff C[removed] and Kachold
… but the drinking didn’t stop there! And the Jeff C[removed] was just starting! I had stopped by Jeff’s new Arlington pad for a total of five minutes at one point during Janelle’s lunch. Thinking I had to drive back to return a rental car I hurried out of there, but when I decided upon an alternate plan Cassie and I stopped back at Chez Jeff C[removed] after Janelle’s party moved to the hotel lobby.

After catching up with each other’s adventures who but old college pal (It’s) Rich (Bitch) showed up. He and Jeff were heading out to DC to see some rockabilly/burlesque show and I got talked into checking it out as well. UPDATE: Rich knew one of the dancers and demanded we go there to check her out. To tell you the truth, it was a hilarious night. For example, Rich got so trashed he was thrown out of the bar before he even walked into it. UPDATE: The rockabilly band was forgettable, but it was a strange site seeing 3 guys who looked like the Stray Cats in the middle of ghetto DC. The burlesque dancers were slightly better: Rich’s friend was attractive but the other dancer was HUGE! Unfortunately, their strip teases just seemed so out of place. I dunno. I really was more interested in discussing Jeff C[removed]‘s mole’s return than watching them strip. Unfortunately, I’m just not up to telling anymore of the night’s story right now. I do have a whole bunch of pictures from the night, however. Maybe I can put together a quick photo essay or something. Or not. Actually, bet on the “or not.”

All right, I hope everyone else had a great vacation, too. L8r!

Current Mood: Drained emoticon Drained

  • Cassie
    Monday, January 12th, 2009 at 00:45 | #1

    Yorkshire, home to such notable people as Emily Bronte and Dame Judi Dench! That is where we live!

  • Monday, January 12th, 2009 at 10:37 | #2

    Yorkshire … Yorkville. Same thing, right?

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